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A WORD...

One word can hold so much power. It can make you happy, make you cry, or simply make you think. Here, I combine a few words to describe exactly what's going  on in my head. You'll witness arguments that I have with myself and conversations I invoke about...life?

 
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chpt. 25


People, people... not to alarm you BUT...

my birthday is in 7 days! 7 days until 26!

Birthdays are extremely important to me, mainly because they’re not promised but also because it’s the one day where people are forced to celebrate and acknowledge themselves and how much of a blessing it is to be uniquely them.

Despite my love of birthdays, I’ve had a history of making a deal out of mine (planning trips and events) to make the new year feel special... but then I’ll completely shit on the previous year.


It’s similar to people's attitudes on New Year’s Eve.

It’s always “last year was trash, this year will be much better”.


I don’t think I’ve taken the time to sit and reflect on my lessons and blessings from previous years. So if you haven’t guessed by now, that’s what today’s Word is about: Chapter 25!

Although Chapter 25 was set within the never ending panorama (parallelogram, panini, panasonic, pon de replay), I have to reflect on how it began. I had a small barbecue with my mom and some of my closest friends and vibed out in my backyard! I got to begin another year of life feeling genuine love. There wasn't anything extravagant about it but to be surrounded by those that love me and just wanted to see me happy made me feel so grounded.

In Chapter 25, I learned the true value of self love. I put myself over everything. What I love, what I enjoy, what I value... whatever felt the most ME came first.

Within learning this lesson I was reminded of my humanity.

I’ve really learned how to give myself grace whenever necessary instead of forcing myself to power through situations when I know I need a break. After realizing my passion for writing and content creation in general, I tried to create create create because I thought I would lose it if i didn't use it, you know? But in turn I'd reached burn out on several occasions. In the name of consistency I was putting myself through hell. At the end of the day, content will not keep me sane so if I gotta go M.I.A for a little bit to rest my mind, then baby I'm gonna do it okay?!


Chapter 25 also taught me that life is entirely TOO SHORT and moves entirelyTOO FAST to rely on "what ifs" and "when I's". What the hell is stopping me now?!


"When I get a better job I'll do this"

"When I lose weight I'll wear that"

"I'll be happier once I"....


GIRL... do it now!


I've spent entirely too many years already planning for years ahead and completely forgot that I'm living a life in present day! Yes, I set goals and made plans for my future; this is perfectly fine. But when I find myself carrying a mental checklist around in order for me to enjoy my life I know I've taken it too far.

I've adopted the "if not now, then when" mentality within the past few months and I can truly say I've been SO MUCH HAPPIER! I can say its helped me doubt myself less and the overthinking isn't as prominent when I'm making decisions for myself. Life feels a bit smoother.


Overall, Chapter 25 has taught me that I'm in charge of my own happiness and that nothing and no one but myself can get in the way of that. My power lies within my ability to chose myself and everything that comes with me.


Gratitude: noun; the quality of being thankful.


I'm truly grateful for the path that 25 has paved for me.

My walk forward into 26 will definitely begin with a full heart and a head held high.

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